Everything that’s beautiful is cracked, that’s how the light gets in!

There is a legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

“Why do you weep?” the goddesses asked.
“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.
“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.”
“But…was Narcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.
“Who better than you to know that?” the goddesses said in wonder. “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!”
The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:
“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful.
“I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

Everything that’s beautiful is cracked, that’s how the light gets in.

These are the most beautiful lines I’ve ever found.

Beauty… one word and infinite expressions. we spend almost our whole life digging out  its meaning… And with each phase… the definition changes… evolves… and becomes better.

I have come across many people who are always critical about their own physical appearances. “Oh! I look so dark, I am so fat, I look so thin, Shit look at my tummy, My skin is so dry and rough, Wish I was a bit taller, and so on” Such comments are so common amongst all… that we do not even notice the inferiorities lie behind all these.

I always assumed people put attention on outer appearance to impress and please others… we all dress to impress. However, its not the truth… we all dress to always impress ourselves… to please our own inner desire to look great… and magnificent. It is our own deep urge to look good and impressive!

Beauty is when you look at the mirror and feel the whole universe is beautiful. Beauty is rooted deep within us. The beauty that goes far beyond just physical appearances.

“People always say: ‘It’s inner beauty that matters, not outer beauty.’Well, that’s not true.If it were, why would flowers put so much energy into attracting bees?And why would raindrops transform themselves into a rainbow when they encounter the sun?Because nature longs for beauty, and is only satisfied when beauty can be exalted.Outer beauty is inner beauty made visible, and it manifests itself in the light that flows from our eyes.The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and, like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.

So if the person looking into someone’s eyes has a dark soul, he will see only his own ugliness

Beauty isn’t really in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is within us. What others see when they look at us is a projection of what we want them to see. If you feel beautiful, your own self belief and confidence brings out a glow of beauty that no outer beauty can compete with. But if you feel ugly, your inner inferiority will reflect the same.

If you truly feel beautiful inside, you’d never seem unappealing to anyone else. We often talk about beauty, inner beauty, outer beauty… What is inner or outer beauty? there is nothing like inner or outer beauty… there is just beauty…and outer appearance. An outer appearance of a person is genetic, inherited from parents. It is not what was developed by the person. Its the inner core that is developed by the person. What if you’re several kg’s overweight, or short or bald?

Believe in yourself and your existence. You are part of this great grand… vast… Universe. And you are completely beautiful. You are a miracle.

Dont let your dreams be dreams

Children give up their dreams to please their parents, parents give up their lives in order to please their children; pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that should bring only love.

My parents had started planning my future even before I was born… just like any other parents… they dreamed their child to be… well educated and grounded with values. So right from the very beginning of my birth, they started infusing values in me…. they dreamed high for their daughter.

Unaware of their high dreams and aspirations for me, I built up my own dreamland… a passion for my own life. Following the path chosen by my parents at start… I made a way for myself… slowly and gradually… I understood… to survive in this world… one has to have a great career… You have to prove your worth… else the world around you would not accept you as part of their league.  Since start, I was always told that whatever I want or wish for is simply impossible… Nobody gets everything! “well, a great career? But I am dumb at almost all things… What am i gonna do? :-o”  and with almost no hopes of a good career and future… I pursued my studies.

At start, I aspired to be doctor… Wow.. the word sounded great… “I am Doctor”…all respect Doctors… I will wear white coat… with stethoscope… curing the poor and ill ones. Wooooow Angel me O:)  But that dream looked almost impossible every time I looked at my report card. *Sigh* those red marks 😐

Then, I thought, perhaps… I can look upto a career in law. “Awesome, black looks great on me… And I can argue all day long without any substantial facts or figures… But, I am disastrous and worst at manipulation.” and, even that dream too faded away almost immediately. :-ss

A human being without any aspiration or dreams in life… “Shit! what a waste I am!” I would tell myself.

Suddenly one day… an idea of becoming an actress popped up in my useless mind. “That’s the career for those who can’t do anything besides throwing tantrums… wooow perfect for me” I thought *Blush* :|…That dream too died quite early… as ahem ahem… no talents+no brains+no figure=Me 😮

“So, what’s your plan to pursue after your twelfth? Preparing for PMT? CPMT? AIEEE?” Everyone would ask me.

“Yes I am preparing” I would reply, having absolutely no idea of what am I preparing for! *Dud*

Sometimes, in all the rush of life it’s easier to listen to everyone around but our own heart. I took a time off… And just after I completed my senior secondary… I decided, “yes, I am completely clueless of my career, But all I am going to do now is follow my heart. Let it lead…” It did lead me through all the thick and thin… it did take me through hard paths… I did take wrong turns… but it always brought me back on the right path… and is still leading. Journey looked beautiful and whatever I did bring contentedness.

The topic of this post is not my struggle for career, or blabber about how courageous I’ve been in following the path. But, this post is for those who have lost themselves to the certainties of life… and have stopped chasing destiny and their dreams.

We are often being asked to be logical, practical, matured and sophisticated in life… to kill all the dreams and lead the life chosen by others. Each one of us have to prove our worth to the world… a life has to be justified… so join the rat race… have a great professional career.. get married at right age… make children before you are old… and then work like a dog all your life for those children so that one day they can throw you out of the house.

Do we really need to have a long, relaxed and miserable life or all we need is a short, exciting and content life????!!!!!!

I am not telling people to not pursue a good career, or not to get married or do not make babies… But to see life as a great… grand adventure. Why do we all surrender ourselves to the certainties of life…? Why do we not dream and demand from life what we really want…? Why do we consider ourselves as a victim of situations… and hence wise, fair and correct in asking so little of life??

I remember a line from The Alchemist when the monks says that he’s been given much more beyond his generosity…and The Alchemist replies: “Don’t say that again. Life might be listening, and give you less next time.”

Follow your heart, live your dreams.

Dreams, they just grow… they just flourish… the more you suppress them… the more you kill your own soul. Dreams, are foolish, illogical… completely ridiculous. Yes! the more crazy… the more impossible they are… The more fun it is to live them and fulfill them.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we find tranquility for short period. But those dead dreams begin to rot inside us. We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. Slowly those dead and spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe and we seek is death. And one day we wake up and there is no time to do thing we always wanted to do… there are not the same people… not be same adventures…. things change.

We shall walk as long as possible.. till the end… play the game till final stage. So, when we are old… we can narrate those long.. exciting, extraordinary and adventurous tales to our children and later grand children. We all shall die one day… but stories will be different for all!

Peruvian priest Clemente Sobrado wrote an interesting piece, which is transcribed below:

One of the biggest problems that we drag around with us all our life is to want to believe we have “enough”. We are surrounded by certainties, and nobody wants someone showing up to propose something new. If we could only suspect that we don’t have everything, and that we aren’t all that we could be!
Maybe we are all faced with a very serious problem, namely that although we have the opportunity to help one another, the truth is that few people let themselves be helped.
Why is that? Because they think they have “enough things”. They already know everything, they are always right, they feel comfortable in their lives.
Almost all of us are like that: we have many things but few aspirations. We have many ideas already sorted out, and we don’t want to give them up. Our life scheme is already organized and we don’t need someone trying to make changes.
We’ve done enough praying, practiced charity, read the lives of the saints, gone to Mass, taken communion. A friend of mine once said: “I don’t know why I come to visit you, father. I am already a good Christian.”
On that day I could not help answering:
“Then don’t come to visit me, because there are a lot of people waiting to see me and they are all full of doubts. But one thing you ought to know: You aren’t bad enough to be bad, nor good enough to be good, nor holy enough to work miracles.
“You are just a Christian satisfied with what you have achieved. And all those who are satisfied have in fact renounced the ideal of always improving. Let’s talk about this some other time, all right?”
Ever since then, whenever we speak on the telephone he starts by saying: “this person who is calling hasn’t yet grown up as much as he could”.
Lord, give us always a dissatisfied heart.
Give us a heart where the questions that we never want to ask can be voiced.
Deliver us from our conformism.
Make us able to enjoy what we have, but let us understand that this is not everything.
Let us appreciate that we are good people.
But above all, make us always ask ourselves how we can become better people.
Because if we ask, then it is quite possible that You will come and show us horizons that we couldn’t see before.

Coming back to where I started from… in both the situations, where we chase our dreams or live the dreams of our parents… we are living our legends… as long as we strive to become better and are always hungry to learn more.

Concluding this with two small stories.. 🙂

What’s the price?

“Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple.
The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes.
Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked.
“This one is no use. It’s too big.”
“How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant.
“They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.”
When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.”

The Search of the Path

“I am willing to leave everything. Please, take me as a disciple.”
“How does a man choose his Path?”
“Through sacrifice. A path that demands sacrifice is a true path.”
The abbot bumped into a bookcase. A very rare vase fell down and the young man threw himself to the floor to pick it up. He fell the wrong way and broke his arm. But he was able to save the vase.
“Which sacrifice is greater, to see the vase breaking down our breaking an arm to save it?”
“I don’t know.”
“So then, do not try to guide your choice through sacrifice. The path is chosen by our capacity of compromising with each step we make while we walk.”

P.S This Post is dedicated to Sumanto and Regina. Cheers Guys! 😉

Deewali Greetings!

As the festival of light is just round the corner. Here I am wishing all my loved ones a great Diwali this year. May God bless us all.

May we understand that to have the fruit we must climb the tree.

We may not know what we want, but we MUST know what we don’t want

May we learn how to navigate between false friends and true enemies we are all the manifestation of the divinity of God.

May we learn that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them;

May we learn that no matter how much we care, some people just don’t care back;

May we understand that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

May we learn that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re downhill are the ones to help you get back up.

May we learn that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

May we learn to understand that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.

May we understand that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

May we learn that our family won’t always be there for us.

May we learn that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while.

May we learn that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

May we learn no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

May we learn that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

May we understand that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

May we learn that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

May we learn that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

May we learn it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

May we learn that we are not good or bad, we are good and bad.

May we learn to love above all discontentment. To give even when we are stripped of everything. To work happily even when we find ourselves in the midst of all obstacles. To dry tears even when we are still crying. To believe even when we are discredited.

May we understand that sacrifice is not a virtue and joy is not a sin

Happy Diwaali 😉

P.S All these thoughts are compiled from the series of thoughts shared by Paulo Coelho.

Photo credit: google.com

Are marriages really made in heaven?!

It is always said that the  “Marriages are made in heaven”. It happened to be my cousin’s wedding last month. Highly excited, I went with my parents to Punjab. Not that I was excited for the marriage but to be with my others cousins who can rock any party in the whole wide world with their drink, dance and abuse sessions.

But, to my own surprise none of my cousins turned up for the wedding… Since marriage is one topic I’ve been running away from ages, I decided to dig into it now. “Marriage… what does it actually mean?” I wondered looking at my cousin.

Sitting in a remote village of punjab, I quickly buzzed my friend on chat, “Can you do me a favour? I want a small research to be done on Anand Karaj. Would you do that for me?” I requested. “Yes sure… will revert with the information by tomorrow’ he replied.

Ever since I was born, I have been to countless marriages. In childhood, I used to get dozed off even before Anand Karaj could start. When I grew up, I could be seen dancing or drinking with cousins while others were busy in main marriage ceremonies.

Nevertheless, better late than never. I saw my cousin closely. I noticed each detail… saw her from head to toe. She did look happy, I saw her hands, she was getting her wedding mehandi done. “What does it mean to be married? Someone entering a new phase of life. It is exciting at the same time involves a lot of risks. And most importantly, why was marriage created? Do people the see the spiritual side of it? Did my cousin thought of it before saying yes to this guy? are people as mad as I am?”

On that very same night, I questioned my mother, Why is she so excited for this marriage. Her reply was “The girl is finally going to her own house and to her people, May God bless her”. I wondered if my cousin had been spending all her life in some refugee camp or what?!

I started creating an image of life after marriage. “You adapt to new surroundings, live with your newly made relatives, mould perfectly into your environment and take care of your husband’s needs. You are told to be obedient but you are miserable in this new dwelling, where you learn the actual meaning of ‘compromise’. You confide your feelings to your friend and she tells you to just adjust and think of the families. After a while everyone start putting pressure for child and even before you can understand anything, you are a mother of a human being. You get tired of questioning and confiding and learn to fall in love after marriage… Well, the love just seems to grow out of familiarity. You tolerate and bear all the differences for the sake of your children and life teaches you that marriage is an institution that leads away from living.”

“THAT”S AWFULLY HORRIFYING” I thought… and dozed off

Just before I was rushing for the Gurudwara next day, my friend buzzed me “Do you know what Anand Karaj is?”
“Yes, It is the main marriage ceremony” I replied.
He again asked, “ And what is laav?”
I replied, “Phere”
He continued: Anand Karaj means “Blissful Event”. It is regarded as a blissful union… a sacred bond of mutual dependence between a man and a woman; a true partnership of equals is made between those who are united in spirit as well as in mind and body. Marriage is not merely a physical and legal contract but is a fusion of the souls; a holy union between two souls, they need to become “Ek Jot Doe Murti” meaning “one spirit in two bodies”.

I was stunned, It meant so beautiful I thought. Where has the real meaning vanished?

He continued:
This Sikh marriage ceremony demands a bit more from the couple than is normally expected. The Sikh Scriptures advise that:
“They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together.
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies.“

“But this can be possible even without getting into marriage” I thought.

All family members gathered at Gurudwara and marriage ceremony started… all looked so beautiful suddenly.

“And what does all 4 laav mean?” I wrote to him

He gave me a detailed explanation on each laav (Phere)

“Wow! why don’t people see the beauty of it then? It is divine and is truly a blissful event” I thought

Since the topic tempted me greatly , I decided to do a detailed research on the history of Marriage and why the institution was invented?

“Marriage was created with a purpose, and the same purpose has lost its value in todays time… or was it ever there?!…” I thought

Through most of the civilizations, marriage has been more a matter of money, power and survival than of delicate sentiments.

Originally “marriage” was a private, binding contract between clans (families) to form an alliance, thereby increasing the clan’s chances for survival in war against rival clans. A “dowry” was given by each clan to “seal the deal”. Marriage was contractual, considered a passing of “property” between clans as a symbol of intention to honor the agreement being made. Property took many forms: cattle, land, children, whatever was considered to be of great value at the time.

The origins of marriage is NOT religious, nor does it have anything to do with the SPIRITUALITY.

It is verbally bartered agreements whereby a man agreed to provide care, security and access to survival resources to a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. This would assure him that his genetic legacy was safe as was the passing down of the survival resources to his own children and not to anyone else’s.

It shocked me to death. I was seeking a spiritual meaning to something which was material through and through. The main purpose behind the invention of marriage was to practice sex under regulations and to bring security within the group. e.i to control sexual relationship within the families/cousins/siblings.

My own heart came out of my throat.

When human beings were made or created by God… God’s main purpose was to let those creatures enjoy the life that they were blessed with. Further, humans invented an institution called marriage that certifies or legalises the social union or partnership between two human beings called spouses. Marriage was made for humans, humans were not made for marriages. Then why marriage becomes the only goal of life for some people?

Why do people think that marriage will bring assurance and security in one’s life and above all they believe they know better with whom a person should marry to. If It’s union of two spirits, two souls and bodies creating one universe. Let a human decide which soul he/she wants to collide with… gets united with and become one.

Throughout my whole research, I discovered that marriage has no religious or spiritual meaning. The only reason it was given a sacred meaning is that at one point the yester generations did understand that the future generations are going to disregard and disrespect Marriage as an institution. It was their own guilt which brought respect to the institution. Whereas the only sacred things since the starting of life on this earth are LOVE & SEX. These are the only divine powers to reach God… meet eternity.

The reason why most of the arranged marriages worked in the past was because of the mutual acceptance of the dependence on eachother. Men were dependent on women for household chores and women were dependent on men for social security. Arranged marriages seek to control people’s sexual encounters, intimate relationships, procreative abilities, and much more.

And the reason why marriages fail in today’s time is because people seek love in marriage. Where love is surely a foundation of any relationship, we all fail to understand that love transforms with time. Marriage does depend on love in todays time but with acceptance of the transformation… cause Love evolves… it grows and grows and make people wise.

There are three Greek word which describe love: Eros, Philos and Agape.

When two people get attracted to each other and the love is in the air. Eros is the spirit that combines those two together. Everything seems beautiful until eros transforms and the couple feel that they are not free to express their eros and instead of creating something new, both feel robbed as both have sacrificed a lot for each other. It becomes social love without the vestige of passion. Those who survive this reach to the next phase of love: Philos. Philos is love in the form of friendship. When the flame of eros stops burning, it is philos that keeps a couple together. It is at this juncture people think that all the passion and love is lost and the marriage is leading to nowhere. Where, it actually has taken them to the next level… the level where both become closer. Usually at this stage couples lose all interest and marriages fail. All of us seek eros, and then when eros wants to turn itself into philos, we think that love is worthless. We don’t see that it is philos that leads us to the highest form of love, agape.

Agape is total love. It is the love that consumes the person who experiences it. It is the love that transforms everything around. Whoever knows and experiences agape learns that nothing else in the world is important – just love. It is a feeling that suffuses, that fills every space in us, and turns our aggression to dust.

I still believe the foundation of marriage should be love. And besides practicing sex, it is an institution to practice love and romance. It’s a phase in two individual’s lives to grow together, learn together, make the other one better, become wiser…. and gain wisdom. It’s chance to experience life, explore the world and if possible the whole universe while fighting for and with each other.

I am yet to experience it, therefore, I am limiting my definition. But even if I go through this, i definitely would want to give it a better meaning than this. When two people unite mentally, physically and spiritually, that is sacred. And yes, I strongly believe love & sex are more sacred and divine than any socially certified marriage ceremonies.

Concluding this with these lines, I found from The Zahir on married couple.

“You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other’s shadow.”

That thing called love

Every love story has its own beauty and charm. No matter if we hear, see, or read thousands of them, the only one that is dearest to us is the one which is ours.

One friend of mine wanted to write about a love story, she approached me and I was clueless, “I have my own unfinished love story. Would you be interested in that?” I replied, thinking she would obviously say NO. “I would love to write about it” She replied.

Since it was a promise, I decided to write my own love story. I thought for hours and hours… thinking from the very first moment I was born…till today…  and I could just come up with two lines “I did not do anything in life besides loving him. And he did everything in life besides loving me” end of story. PERIOD

“Obviously I can’t elaborate this into 4-5 pages” I thought.

I did need to give her a story…. “But How could I give my story? I do not have a love story, even though I loved someone so dearly and insanely… I did not have any story to share. What am I gonna give to her. I promised her a story” I thought

I sat for long hours, looking at the monitor screen and thinking what to write. The words were just not pouring out. Realising the malfunctioning of my own thoughts, I went for a long walk with my diary and pencil and still I could not build up a story.

And here it is what all I could develop…

So she said, ‘See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.’
But Ruth said, ‘Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you!
Where you go, I will go;  
where you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people,
  and your God my God.
Where you die, I will die—
  there will I be buried.
May the Lord do thus and so to me,
  and more as well,
if even death parts me from you!’

Ruth 1:15-18

Its struggle in life started from the very first moment even as a sperm. It was the fastest sperm to be fertilised. The parents, who were already blessed with two baby boys, did not want another child in the family. Two children seemed enough to them. So, when they got the news of expecting their third child, they were stunned and displeased.

Since they were expecting the third unwanted one, they wanted it to be a girl this time. “It will complete the whole family” They thought.

A continuous series of praying… worshiping started for the baby to be a girl. The mother crossed the ninth month… and the most unwanted child in the family  became the most awaited one.

AND, In the tenth month… Finally… It came….

My goodness gracious…. It was a GIRL. Sent on this earth against all odds. God just wanted her to be here.

Even though she was an unwanted child in the beginning, she became her daddy’s apple of the eye and the dearest toy of her brothers. She was cared and pampered like a princess. For her the best time of the day was when she would lie down beside her dad on the bed and put her head on his stomach and hear the funny sounds the stomach makes.

She would ask silly questions to her dad, for her, he was her hero.. her man.. her Superman. She did not need any google search, she would just shoot her dad with all the questions that popped up in her tiny miny mind, he had answers to all the problems of her life.

That little bundle of joy always lived in her fairytale world… everything around her made her the innocent one ever. She believed in life, love and miracles. Life was perfect. Her parents taught her to be honest and true… always. She was taught that life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

Being born as the only girl child in the neighbourhood, she enjoyed an extra attention and pampering amongst all the boys. She did not know how it was to be different. She treated herself as a guy only. When she used to see other girls doing girlie things,  it made her uncomfortable… a sense of great insignificance would creep into. But, with time, she  tamed herself to be a perfect blend of boyish girl.

She enjoyed being in her own fools paradise. She continuously told everyone that she will never fall for anyone, and even if she will.. she would not let the guy know ever. Having a guy in her life had always made her uncomfortable.

“I, romantically involved with a guy!.. horrifying thought” she used to say.

She never knew what it means to be in love, for her, Namastey London was the perfect definition of love… OR when in Titanic Jack tells rose “You jump, I jump!’ was the perfect expression of love than saying “I love you”  a million times.

She was grown up seeing highly emotional bollywood flicks, her teenage went reading Mills & boon and by the time she crossed her teenage, she was sure enough that love was not made for her.

“If I were to be blessed with love. Someone would have already landed up by now.” She used to think.

She was totally convinced that arranged marriage is for her.

“Probably that’s why I never got indulged in any relationship. It’s cause my husband is going to be my first and the last”  The thought looked beautiful to her and she started feeling special.

She did have regular crushes… but those used to get crushed even before she could talk to those guys. Something, somewhere always went wrong.

By the time she came of age for marriage, she had seen a lot of failed marriages, love affairs. and relationships around her. It scared her to be with someone now. She had lost all the interest in love or marriage.

“What is the use of loveless marriages. People do not love in these times. Marriage brings only more and more tensions” She would tell everyone

“Perhaps I was chosen to be nun”, She used to wonder. “I am born to serve the God. and I will be the bride of God”

Throughout everything, all her mistakes, sins, wrongdoings, her faults… God kept her protected. She was indeed HIS special child.

Days went, things changed… she got independent… but her thoughts on love and marriage became worst than before.

“How will I know if I love my guy? what if I never fall for my husband? what if I fall for someone else after I get married to someone?” Such thoughts would make her mad.

Every girl on this planet wants her man to be just like her father. Even she dreamed for the same. She did not imagine HIM to be tall, dark and handsome like all the love stories describe the hero to be. All she looked was for a simple, humble, honest guy. And she did not know when will he just bump into her life.

No thunderstorm, no lightening…  no magical moments… absolutely nothing of that sort happened, when she first encountered him. Still, she remembered each moment of that first meeting like it was the most beautiful event of her life ever. Like God had planned that meeting, even before she was born.

It was on social forum that she met him first. In fact, she hated him the most when she first talked with him. They fought on some childish topic and she created an image of him in jiffy.

“A typical, self obsessed, over smart, arrogant and self centered guy.. in short… a complete ass” she muttered

Everyone around her told her to be away from him, “He is just a headache. Avoid him” one friend warned her.

Time was passing, she did not know where the life was taking her.. she was flowing freely… life seemed beautiful even after all the ups and downs.

While, she deep down inside still believed in true love, it was still an alien emotion to her.. She was happier in her own world, her family, friends and work was her perfect life and she did not look for any other thing. She would help everyone beyond limits… without even a second thought. Even if people would take advantage of her kindness, innocence and simplicity, she kept herself the way she was. “be happy and make others happy” was her motto of life.

But the volcano of emotions had to erupt… and his charm,  the charm that she could not escape, had to change her life forever. Life comes down to the series of key moments… this was the moment she was waiting for since eternity, even before she was born… even before the universe was created.

One negative thought shared on facebook, brought biggest change in her life. She hardly knew him but he was furious, so angry on her for sharing it that he called her a failure. She was shocked “Who the hell is this guy? I do not even know him and he is calling me a failure? what does he know about me?” She asked herself.

His rude, harsh, and disgusting way infused new spirits within her.This brought her a great sense of respect for him. She started following him blindly, if he would tell her that “this apple is not an apple but a banana” she would believe him.

She confided in him… admired him… adored him madly. She would go gaga over him everywhere.

If he was calm and gentle or rough and rude. None could judge. “His way of showing affection and care is also like him, rude!” She thought

She understood, that beneath that strong, arrogant, self obsessed skin was a guy with warm heart. His own defeats and battles in life had made him tough enough to handle this world. She saw the same emptiness in his, which she had within her.

She did not realize when and how he became an important part of her life.

She would regularly talk with him now, discuss her craziest thoughts ever… all her queries, her doubts, her confusions had only one answer: HE. She would not even think twice before saying anything in front of him. His presence was more than enough for her to be completely confident of life and her universe.

Whenever she would fight with him, she would cry whole night not knowing whether it is because she hurt him or she hurt herself? Totally clueless.

She would get furious now if someone would say even a single word against him. “Yes of course I can say thing to him. I know him. But I can not tolerate people talking shit about him.” she told a mutual friend once.

Everything seemed beautiful, she would share each and every detail of her life with him… and it made her feel amazingly beautiful that how could she feel like a kite without a string. Like a little cranky kid at the same time a matured woman with him. It was a feeling of total completeness.

Almost everything around was nudging her towards him. She still did not want to be married or be with somebody. She was enjoying every bit of life without knowing what lies ahead.

Here, her parents were worried for her future as she would never show interest in any of the guys they would show her. She would always find one reason or the other to say no to them and they would easily give up as they loved her so much.

They say, change is the only constant thing, therefore, even she could not abscond it.

He informed her, he is getting married. Marriage?… thas one word she loathed. She felt terribly jealous, insecure and disheartened.

She was confused… totally baffled with her own behaviour. She did not want to marry anyone, neither she wanted him to be married. Yes, she did want him to be happy, but she did not want to lose him, the feeling of depart just torned apart her soul completely. She felt as if an eternal part of her own soul is taken away from her. “What the hell is wrong with me?” She asked herself angrily.

Her soul replied to her:
It is called love. Love for someone you never felt before. Your dedication and determination which you never had for someone before.

She resisted:
No! it can not be love, we do not fall in love just like that.

Soul: How do we fall in love?

She: We fall in love with someone we spend time, we know completely, even when they irritate us so much we just can not be mad at them for longer cause the bonding is stronger and with each fight its goes stronger and stronger. Someone, we trust completely and blindly, we know he is the only one we can tolerate for lifetime and someone for whom we can fight with even God.

Soul: And so? you know the answer. It is love through and through.

Her own answer made her cry… she knew she fell for him.

She: But, I do not want to create problems in his life. He deserves better.

Soul: So, you think, you are not worth fighting for? If you would not value your own emotions, how can you expect him to value them?

Her first promise of not falling in love with anyone was broken. She felt disastrous.

It was her first love, she did not know how to explain or tell it to him. Even if she wanted to, something within her would hold her back.

“I do not want to create problems in life. Let him get married and I will get married to somebody. Life will be beautiful” She consoled herself.

But, her own heart was deceiving her, she could not stand it any longer. Her own first love was slipping away, “Why am i stuck here God! Why this now?” She pleaded to God.

And she lost the battle within her, she broke her second promise. Promise of not letting her love know about her emotions. The volcano of emotions erupted. She could not hold herself back…She told him what she really felt for him without thinking of the consequences.

Her own first love, did never love her. She knew it all but she could not help herself from telling him. Her own heart was sinking. He never loved was the end of the story. What should she do now? Where shall she go? Who to blame or whom to get angry on? She lost her very own battle of love. Not because she was incompetent, because life did not give her a chance to even fight. She lost within and without.

Whenever she would face mirror, she could not help but curse herself… pity her own state. She would pacify herself and besides everything ask for forgiveness from God. She would cry every night cleansing her soul. Even when she knew he never loved her, she could not help but fall for him even more… it was an untamed force.

She would cry, repent, regret…  would ask herself the same question zillion times and each time the heart would reply: “Your love is greatest of all, even when it is unrequited. Your emotions do not lose value even when they’re one sided. Each emotion has its meaning. Never regret what you did for someone. Love is something where you can be completely illogical, foolish, crazy and mad. There are other things in life to show your sophistication. Love has to be childish and crazy. Cause if you can control it, its not love.”

Once someone made fun of her feelings and all she could reply was: “Yes I loved, I loved so deeply, so dearly, so insanely that when my love told he is getting married to someone else. I was hurt, I felt so miserable and so very insignificant that I cried… I cried for God knows how many days, weeks or months until I could cry no longer. Everything I do is so irrelevant & meaningless.” The friend obviously did not understand what she meant.

Time passed, she had to rekindle the fire for living that she had known long before she met him. She needed to move ahead, “Do not worry for the results, just keep fighting” She told herself.

“Remember I used to say, “I can do anything to make him happy” Here it is, accept his decision and make him happy, I can not blame him for not loving me. You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them; learn that no matter how much you care, some people just don’t care back; And it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself… no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. Learn that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.” She pacified herself

“No anger, no hate and no more blaming. learn that we are not good or bad, we are good and bad.” She reminded herself.

Her broken spirit slowly started to heal.

“It’s a phase, it will teach you love through pain… And, even when it hurts so much…. even in its worst form.. Love is amazingly beautiful… God blessed you with the glory of love.. he poured the greatest emotion on you. God loves you… he was with you when you cried in the nights…  even when you got angry on him… fought with him..  He gave you the strength and power to endure everything. He made you strong and brave. And through this phase, you will know how divine love could be… even when it is terribly complicated.” She told herself

“I should be thankful to God that he chose the best person in the whole Universe to take me through this experience. I experienced love through pain and it still makes me feel beautiful.” She told herself

Some love stories have happy ending, even this one has… no matter if its just a one sided love. It is indeed a happy ending.

“I loved him is an understatement. Even zillion pages can not explain my love for him. How could I confine this greatest emotion in just four letters L-O-V-E. My ashes will be thankful to God and to him.” She would say. She felt glad that she went through love and the medium was him. He played his part in her life. He taught her the greatest emotion a human being can ever go through: LOVE.

She lived happily ever after. and whenever someone would ask her about her story she would say: “Yes! I love” and think “but, He did not!”

P.S This post is dedicated to all the mentals like me 😛

All is not lost yet

“I expected compassion from you Jasmeet. You could use a better term for these images” said one of my disheartened clients. “Compassion! for what?” I thought. I just referred the images sent by her for a brochure as TRASH, which they actually were….

But, yes I was a bit harsh!

The word “compassion” took me back to memories…

It was June and my fathers birthday was coming. Since that man never buys anything for himself, I decided to buy some shirts for him. After office, I headed for shopping, I bought two perfect shirts in the shades of blue. Highly satisfied and delighted with what I had bought for the first man of my life, I decided to treat myself with a cup of coffee and of course a warm muffin with choco syrup on top to go with it… 😀

The coffee shop was full, I looked around and saw an empty table in the far corner. “wow a perfect place” I thought. I quickly headed towards it to grab the place before anyone else could grab it. In hurry, my bag hit the elbow of an elderly person who was having coffee with his wife. it must have been very hot I am sure as the facial expression of the man changed immediately and I could see anger on his face. “I am so sorry uncle” I said with a puppy face.

He just burst out on me… “You! Can you not even handle your bloody bag?!”

“I did not do it purposely uncle. I am really very sorry!” I apologized, almost begged!

“Do you know how hot it was? It burned my lips” He said angrily

 

The man did not say anything further, I grabbed my seat,

I felt disgusting, terrible, so so so very inhuman. “Where is the humanity gone? where is the word compassion vanished from our society” I thought.

I took out my diary, started writing whatever crap came in my mind… bad things.. about everything.. almost each thing existed on this planet. “OMG one bad incident can bring the worst out of you Jazz! The devil is on fire babes” I thought.

The coffee and muffin that was served immediately, tasted as bad as poison.The beauty of the whole evening just vanished.

“People have become so irritated, frustrated, inhuman, brutal and insensitive. What will happen to the society, to the humanity. Where are we heading to….? materialistic things? thas it? where is the peace, love, care & respect? I Agree it was my mistake but he could be little gentle as I did not hurt him purposely. What the heck” I thought.

A handsome guy in front of me who was continuously staring at me, looked the most ugliest guy I ever saw. (who knows if he was wondering, how could a girl be so dumb?! ufffffff)

I continued writing stupidest things ever in my diary… the coffee tasted yucks… and muffin was the worst muffin ever…*sobs*

Lost in my own thoughts, I did not notice that someone came near my table and standing, I looked up, It was the same man,

 “Its Ok beta, I am also sorry, I spoilt your mood” He said

My face lit up “Noh! I am really sorry uncle. I want to offer you a cup of coffee.”

“I just had it. you enjoy yourself. Thank you!” And he left

OH MY GOD!

I was on seventh heaven, “Wow… Humanity is there, people do respect and love each other and its not as bad as I am thinking. People are still compassionate.” I thought

Suddenly all the good thoughts in the universe started pouring out on my diary. The angle in me was back. what a relief.

The coffee tasted… the yummiest ever… The muffin was the most delectable thing I ever tasted. and the handsome guy… looked the sexiest ever 😀 uffff just one act of kindness can bring so much happiness 😀

That evening will always remind me that ” yes! we all are tired of this fast racing world, yes we do have busy lives BUT humanity, love, care, respect, compassion… all these words have not lost their meaning yet!”

I am thankful to that man, cause he is an important part of my own growth! 🙂

‘Life’- A beautiful struggle!

“Asha Bhosle’s daughter Varsha commits suicide: Police”

Was news of the day!

“Last time she tried by overdose of pills…. this time she shot herself. Whoa! last time was 3 yrs ago”. I read on internet

“Man! she must be much more disturbed and irritated with life than us. Who knows what is going on in one’s life. Hope her soul RIP” I thought

As always my mind started wandering….

Nobody wants to die… nobody wants to leave their loved ones left behind. Then, what prods a person to end all.. stops the journey and leave everything?! Its like… deactivating your facebook account in rage knowing that there isn’t any other setting of coming back or restore it. OMG dangerous. :O Isn’t it?!

Though, in the mind of someone considering suicide, the act may seem like an expeditious and effective way to eliminate pain. But, I’m sure we’re all are familiar with the old bromide, “suicide doesn’t fix anything.”

If someone decides to die or end their life, means the person is going through a major emotional and social turmoil. They are convinced that they do not want to get burdened with anything anymore.Yes ofcourse, there is a solution to everything and people should learn to accept life as it comes. But, most of us at some point in our lives have lost hope while fighting important battles.

“As far as suicide is concerned, although we never know how much a human being is already handling in life. But, it does require a lot of courage for someone to even hurt himself.” I thought

More questioned popped up in my mind.

Is it really a crime to commit suicide? And why do people lose faith and believe in themselves? How can people accept their defeat and failures so easily?

In India, attempted suicide is an offence punishable under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code. “Whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year or with fine, or with both.”

WOW, someone who is already so much disturbed with life is sent to imprisonment?! Instead of sending them to rehabilitation, they are sent to imprisonment to make things worse?A person who attempts to suicide is in depression and needs help rather than punishment/imprisonment/fine.

In religious point of view, suicide is considered as a grave and serious sin. In Hinduism it is believed that suicide causes the soul and body to be separated at an unnatural time. The result damages the karma of the person. But, interestingly, Jainism is one religion that permits suicide with restrictions.

We all have known the feeling when dreams are shattered, promises are broken, people are cheated, when things go terribly wrong.. and when nothing seems to work out. Times when hope, trust, faith… all go waste… nothing keeps us going and there is no urge to live.

Its not a crime if someone decides to leave the physical form of themselves. If we have a right to drink, smoke, live the way we want, then we do have the right to die… and the way we want it to be ended. When God sent us here, he wanted us to live happily, and we when are unable to, we have full right to opt out and make a choice.

We are none to comment on someone’s decision when we all make mistakes each day. A human soul needs love & care. The worst time for any person on this earth is the when he/she considers himself totally insignificant. There are so many alive, but there are very few who are living. In search of our happiness we fail to understand that without disappointments, defeats and despair… this life on earth is incomplete.

Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle! 

I always believe that each one of us are fighting our own battles in the best way possible. And the beauty of life is that each one of us have a unique battle to fight. There are many like me who have at some point of time did ask God to take their lives away cause the battle was tough and dirty. But, as one of my dear friends says when I lose all the hope “You are a great performer Jasmeet. You perform so well each time that God throws a tougher challenge each time.”

I would love to conclude this post with an extract from The Fifth Mountain. Whenever, I lose hope, I read this again and again… and again 🙂 and say I love you God! 🙂

THAT NIGHT, a man entered Jacob’s tent and wrestled with him until the break of day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he said, “Let me go.” Jacob answered, “I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.” Then the man said to him: “As a prince, hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. What is thy name?” And he said, Jacob. And the man answered: “Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel.”

Long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: “Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?” The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling

that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens–not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

 “The brave are always stubborn.”

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts. Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

“We, however, struggle with the Lord, just as we struggle with the men and women we love in our lifetimes. For it is that struggle with the divine that blesses us and makes us grow. We grasp the opportunity in the tragedy and do our duty by Him, by proving we were able to obey the order to walk. Even in the worst of circumstances, we have forged ahead. “There are moments when God demands obedience. But there are moments in which He wishes to test our will and challenges us to understand His love.”

“Take advantage of the chance that tragedy has given you; not everyone is capable of doing so.”

P.S I would request each one of you to please read this book at least once, it will change your life and thinking forever. It has always given me so much strength during hard times. 🙂

Odyssey of self-discovery

“For I am the first and the last
I am the venerated and the despised
I am the prostitute and the saint
I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation for the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one”
Hymn to Isis ( 3rd or 4th century AD )

Until I re-read this twice, I was under the impression that Paulo Coelho has written these lines.

The foreword of the book “Eleven Minutes” starts with this Hymn. And I just could not help but wonder “How could a man describe women so beautifully?”.  Ahh Sigh! The story starts with a line “Once upon a time there was a prostitute…” and it immediately catches your attention… Thas how fairy tales used to start, not the story of a prostitute!

I remember asking one of my friends with excitement, “Have you ever read Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho. Thas my favourite book.” And the excitement vanished immediately with his reply “ I do not read these kind of books” I was shocked, “kind of?”. What kind of book is that? How do you categorise books in good or bad?

Anyways I am not concerned with what he thinks, Eleven minutes, as far as I have known myself, has described woman in the perfect words possible. The turmoil that she goes through, how she decides and takes up her life. How she falls in love when she least expects it. Beautiful is an understatement for this book to be honest!

When I first read this book, I was 20, and it seemed like a usual book to me that time. Nothing so special. However, when I re read the same book in 2008, I immediately said “OMG! Maria is me!”. But how could one relate herself with a prostitute?!?! Well, I relate myself with the thoughts, the confusions, the mysteries that the character faces and not with her profession.

I have read this book four times so far, and every time I have learnt something new about life. To give you a gist of the story, Eleven Minutes is based on the experiences of a young Brazilian prostitute called Maria, whose first innocent brushes with love leave her heartbroken. At a tender age, she becomes convinced that she will never find true love. When a chance meeting in Rio takes her to Geneva, she dreams of finding fame and fortune yet ends up working as a prostitute.
As Maria drifts further away from love. But when she meets a handsome young painter she finds she must choose between pursuing a dark path of sexual pleasure, or risking everything for the possibility of sacred sex; sex in the context of love. Eleven Minutes is a gripping and daring novel, which sensitively explores the sacred nature of sex and love, inviting us to confront our own prejudices and embrace our “inner light”.

Since I myself is such an incurably romantic… I love the end when Ralf Hart tells Maria “We’ll always have Paris” It brings tears to my eyes everytime I read it 😦 *Sobs*

I am sharing some beautiful parts/quotes from the book to elevate your senses guys 🙂 enjoy guys 🙂

“If I must be faithful to someone or something, I have, first of all, have to be faithful to myself.”

“Love is not to be found in someone else but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person.”

“A writer once said that it is not time that changes man, nor knowledge; the only thing that can change someone’s mind is love. What nonsense! The person who wrote that clearly knew only one side of the coin. Love was undoubtedly one of the things capable of changing a person’s whole life, from one moment to the next. But there was the other side of the coin, the second thing that could make a human being take a totally different course from the one he or she had planned; and that was called despair.”

“Sometimes, you get no second chance and that its best to accept the gifts the world offers you.”

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”

“What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldn’t they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot? At the moment, I’m far too lonely to think about love, but I have to believe that it will happen, that I will find a job and that I am here because I chose this fate. The roller coaster is my life; life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it’s taking chances, falling over and getting up again; it’s mountaineering; it’s wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don’t manage it. It isn’t easy being far from my family and from the language in which I can express all my feelings and emotions, but, from now on, whenever I feel depressed, I will remember that funfair. If I had fallen asleep and suddenly woken up on a roller coaster, what would I feel?
Well, I would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend, wanting to get off. However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.”

“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility”

“At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.”

“You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.”

“In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.”

“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it”

“Dreaming is very pleasant as long as you are not forced to put your dreams into practice.”

“I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion & adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved. I’m a housewife & a prostitute, both of us living in the same body & doing battle with each other. The meeting of these two women is a game with serious risks. A divine dance. When we meet, we are two divine energies, two universes colliding. If the meeting is not carried out with due reverence, one universe destroys the other.”

“Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they’re not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or–such is the pleasure they experience–they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them.”

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.”

“I’ve met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: I’m not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months’ time, I’ll be far away and he’ll be just a memory, but I couldn’t stand living without love any longer; I had reached my limit… Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meeting are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes directions.”

“In all languages in the world, there is the same proverb: ‘What the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over.’ Well, I say that there isn’t any ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings that we try to repress and forget. If we’re far from exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we’re far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them.”

‘Pain is frightening when it shows its teal face, but it’s seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self-denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it, we human beings always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives.’ ‘I don’t believe that. No one wants to suffer.’ ‘If you think you can live without suffering, that’s a great step forward, but don’t imagine that other people will understand you. True, no one wants to suffer, and yet nearly everyone seeks out pain and sacrifice, and then they feel justified, pure, deserving of the respect of their children, husbands, neighbours, God. Don’t let’s think about that now; all you need to know is that what makes the world go round is not the search for pleasure, but the renunciation of all
that is important.”

A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is
planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.

Note: Self discovery does not mean khud khushi here 😐

The older sister’s question

Here I am sharing a story I found on Paulo Coelho‘s Blog. I loved it so much that I could not stop myself but share it here. Hope you guyz will love it too! 🙂 Cheers! 🙂

 

When her brother was born, Sa-chi Gabriel begged her parents to leave her alone with the baby.

They refused, fearing that, as with many four-year-olds, she was jealous and wanted to mistreat him.

But Sa-chi showed no signs of jealousy.

And since she was always extremely affectionate towards her little brother, her parents decided to carry out an experiment.

They left Sa-chi alone with their new-born baby, but kept the bedroom door ajar so that they could watch what she did.

Delighted to have her wish granted, little Sa-chi tiptoed over to the cradle, leaned over the baby and said:

“Little brother, tell me what God is like. I’m beginning to forget.” 🙂

A Sign of STRENGTH!

Her hands were numb and her eyes were blurry “Its been 15 days now that she had not cried” said the Messenger inside her.

“And its a bad sign!” replied her Guardian.

“Oh shut up! It’s been God knows how many months that she was crying. Its good. She is at peace with herself now.” defended the Messenger within her.

The Guardian was upset with this new change in her. Crying had become an every day and night ritual for her. She used shed tears whenever and wherever possible. The sudden stop of crying meant the worst change.

“I think crying worked as a medicine for her” Said the Guardian.

“Yes! you wanted to see her suffering. She has stopped crying and afterwards, will resume back to her normal life and become happy. Do you think she deserves to cry for no reason?” asked the Messenger.

Guardian was losing its strength, “Crying kept her alive”

“It just brought her sleepless nights” Said the Messenger

“It made her strong enough to endure everything. She has become so cold now!” replied the Guardian disappointingly.

The Messenger knew what the Guardian was trying to communicate but, it also knew that crying was leading her nowhere.

“She will be fine. She has fought many more battles in the past and has come through with flying colours.” Said, ignoring the sad tone in the Guardian’s voice.

“Crying is not a sign of weakness just as laughter is not a sign of strength. Crying meant she was strong, she was alive, and she was fighting. I wanted her to die as a brave warrior. If smiling and laughing is important for a person, then pouring out your emotions are important as well. Honest tears cleanse your heart and soul. Her soul has died it seems. The struggle and pain should make a person better. she has become bitter. ” The Guardian defended

The Messenger got furious “ Oh! do you think it is right show your weakness.. and your vulnerability when no one even cares for her tears? she needs to be strong now.”

The Guardian had nothing to say… “ Weak and vulnerable are those who suppress their emotions. Hiding emotions is like getting hurt inside each moment. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Blessed are those who weep, for they shall laugh”

P.S Messenger here is referred as Devil and the Guardian is referred as guardian angel we all have within us.