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There is a legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

“Why do you weep?” the goddesses asked.
“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.
“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.”
“But…was Narcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.
“Who better than you to know that?” the goddesses said in wonder. “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!”
The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:
“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful.
“I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

Everything that’s beautiful is cracked, that’s how the light gets in.

These are the most beautiful lines I’ve ever found.

Beauty… one word and infinite expressions. we spend almost our whole life digging out  its meaning… And with each phase… the definition changes… evolves… and becomes better.

I have come across many people who are always critical about their own physical appearances. “Oh! I look so dark, I am so fat, I look so thin, Shit look at my tummy, My skin is so dry and rough, Wish I was a bit taller, and so on” Such comments are so common amongst all… that we do not even notice the inferiorities lie behind all these.

I always assumed people put attention on outer appearance to impress and please others… we all dress to impress. However, its not the truth… we all dress to always impress ourselves… to please our own inner desire to look great… and magnificent. It is our own deep urge to look good and impressive!

Beauty is when you look at the mirror and feel the whole universe is beautiful. Beauty is rooted deep within us. The beauty that goes far beyond just physical appearances.

“People always say: ‘It’s inner beauty that matters, not outer beauty.’Well, that’s not true.If it were, why would flowers put so much energy into attracting bees?And why would raindrops transform themselves into a rainbow when they encounter the sun?Because nature longs for beauty, and is only satisfied when beauty can be exalted.Outer beauty is inner beauty made visible, and it manifests itself in the light that flows from our eyes.The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and, like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.

So if the person looking into someone’s eyes has a dark soul, he will see only his own ugliness

Beauty isn’t really in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is within us. What others see when they look at us is a projection of what we want them to see. If you feel beautiful, your own self belief and confidence brings out a glow of beauty that no outer beauty can compete with. But if you feel ugly, your inner inferiority will reflect the same.

If you truly feel beautiful inside, you’d never seem unappealing to anyone else. We often talk about beauty, inner beauty, outer beauty… What is inner or outer beauty? there is nothing like inner or outer beauty… there is just beauty…and outer appearance. An outer appearance of a person is genetic, inherited from parents. It is not what was developed by the person. Its the inner core that is developed by the person. What if you’re several kg’s overweight, or short or bald?

Believe in yourself and your existence. You are part of this great grand… vast… Universe. And you are completely beautiful. You are a miracle.

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Children give up their dreams to please their parents, parents give up their lives in order to please their children; pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that should bring only love.

My parents had started planning my future even before I was born… just like any other parents… they dreamed their child to be… well educated and grounded with values. So right from the very beginning of my birth, they started infusing values in me…. they dreamed high for their daughter.

Unaware of their high dreams and aspirations for me, I built up my own dreamland… a passion for my own life. Following the path chosen by my parents at start… I made a way for myself… slowly and gradually… I understood… to survive in this world… one has to have a great career… You have to prove your worth… else the world around you would not accept you as part of their league.  Since start, I was always told that whatever I want or wish for is simply impossible… Nobody gets everything! “well, a great career? But I am dumb at almost all things… What am i gonna do? :-o”  and with almost no hopes of a good career and future… I pursued my studies.

At start, I aspired to be doctor… Wow.. the word sounded great… “I am Doctor”…all respect Doctors… I will wear white coat… with stethoscope… curing the poor and ill ones. Wooooow Angel me O:)  But that dream looked almost impossible every time I looked at my report card. *Sigh* those red marks 😐

Then, I thought, perhaps… I can look upto a career in law. “Awesome, black looks great on me… And I can argue all day long without any substantial facts or figures… But, I am disastrous and worst at manipulation.” and, even that dream too faded away almost immediately. :-ss

A human being without any aspiration or dreams in life… “Shit! what a waste I am!” I would tell myself.

Suddenly one day… an idea of becoming an actress popped up in my useless mind. “That’s the career for those who can’t do anything besides throwing tantrums… wooow perfect for me” I thought *Blush* :|…That dream too died quite early… as ahem ahem… no talents+no brains+no figure=Me 😮

“So, what’s your plan to pursue after your twelfth? Preparing for PMT? CPMT? AIEEE?” Everyone would ask me.

“Yes I am preparing” I would reply, having absolutely no idea of what am I preparing for! *Dud*

Sometimes, in all the rush of life it’s easier to listen to everyone around but our own heart. I took a time off… And just after I completed my senior secondary… I decided, “yes, I am completely clueless of my career, But all I am going to do now is follow my heart. Let it lead…” It did lead me through all the thick and thin… it did take me through hard paths… I did take wrong turns… but it always brought me back on the right path… and is still leading. Journey looked beautiful and whatever I did bring contentedness.

The topic of this post is not my struggle for career, or blabber about how courageous I’ve been in following the path. But, this post is for those who have lost themselves to the certainties of life… and have stopped chasing destiny and their dreams.

We are often being asked to be logical, practical, matured and sophisticated in life… to kill all the dreams and lead the life chosen by others. Each one of us have to prove our worth to the world… a life has to be justified… so join the rat race… have a great professional career.. get married at right age… make children before you are old… and then work like a dog all your life for those children so that one day they can throw you out of the house.

Do we really need to have a long, relaxed and miserable life or all we need is a short, exciting and content life????!!!!!!

I am not telling people to not pursue a good career, or not to get married or do not make babies… But to see life as a great… grand adventure. Why do we all surrender ourselves to the certainties of life…? Why do we not dream and demand from life what we really want…? Why do we consider ourselves as a victim of situations… and hence wise, fair and correct in asking so little of life??

I remember a line from The Alchemist when the monks says that he’s been given much more beyond his generosity…and The Alchemist replies: “Don’t say that again. Life might be listening, and give you less next time.”

Follow your heart, live your dreams.

Dreams, they just grow… they just flourish… the more you suppress them… the more you kill your own soul. Dreams, are foolish, illogical… completely ridiculous. Yes! the more crazy… the more impossible they are… The more fun it is to live them and fulfill them.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we find tranquility for short period. But those dead dreams begin to rot inside us. We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. Slowly those dead and spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe and we seek is death. And one day we wake up and there is no time to do thing we always wanted to do… there are not the same people… not be same adventures…. things change.

We shall walk as long as possible.. till the end… play the game till final stage. So, when we are old… we can narrate those long.. exciting, extraordinary and adventurous tales to our children and later grand children. We all shall die one day… but stories will be different for all!

Peruvian priest Clemente Sobrado wrote an interesting piece, which is transcribed below:

One of the biggest problems that we drag around with us all our life is to want to believe we have “enough”. We are surrounded by certainties, and nobody wants someone showing up to propose something new. If we could only suspect that we don’t have everything, and that we aren’t all that we could be!
Maybe we are all faced with a very serious problem, namely that although we have the opportunity to help one another, the truth is that few people let themselves be helped.
Why is that? Because they think they have “enough things”. They already know everything, they are always right, they feel comfortable in their lives.
Almost all of us are like that: we have many things but few aspirations. We have many ideas already sorted out, and we don’t want to give them up. Our life scheme is already organized and we don’t need someone trying to make changes.
We’ve done enough praying, practiced charity, read the lives of the saints, gone to Mass, taken communion. A friend of mine once said: “I don’t know why I come to visit you, father. I am already a good Christian.”
On that day I could not help answering:
“Then don’t come to visit me, because there are a lot of people waiting to see me and they are all full of doubts. But one thing you ought to know: You aren’t bad enough to be bad, nor good enough to be good, nor holy enough to work miracles.
“You are just a Christian satisfied with what you have achieved. And all those who are satisfied have in fact renounced the ideal of always improving. Let’s talk about this some other time, all right?”
Ever since then, whenever we speak on the telephone he starts by saying: “this person who is calling hasn’t yet grown up as much as he could”.
Lord, give us always a dissatisfied heart.
Give us a heart where the questions that we never want to ask can be voiced.
Deliver us from our conformism.
Make us able to enjoy what we have, but let us understand that this is not everything.
Let us appreciate that we are good people.
But above all, make us always ask ourselves how we can become better people.
Because if we ask, then it is quite possible that You will come and show us horizons that we couldn’t see before.

Coming back to where I started from… in both the situations, where we chase our dreams or live the dreams of our parents… we are living our legends… as long as we strive to become better and are always hungry to learn more.

Concluding this with two small stories.. 🙂

What’s the price?

“Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple.
The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes.
Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked.
“This one is no use. It’s too big.”
“How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant.
“They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.”
When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.”

The Search of the Path

“I am willing to leave everything. Please, take me as a disciple.”
“How does a man choose his Path?”
“Through sacrifice. A path that demands sacrifice is a true path.”
The abbot bumped into a bookcase. A very rare vase fell down and the young man threw himself to the floor to pick it up. He fell the wrong way and broke his arm. But he was able to save the vase.
“Which sacrifice is greater, to see the vase breaking down our breaking an arm to save it?”
“I don’t know.”
“So then, do not try to guide your choice through sacrifice. The path is chosen by our capacity of compromising with each step we make while we walk.”

P.S This Post is dedicated to Sumanto and Regina. Cheers Guys! 😉

As the festival of light is just round the corner. Here I am wishing all my loved ones a great Diwali this year. May God bless us all.

May we understand that to have the fruit we must climb the tree.

We may not know what we want, but we MUST know what we don’t want

May we learn how to navigate between false friends and true enemies we are all the manifestation of the divinity of God.

May we learn that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them;

May we learn that no matter how much we care, some people just don’t care back;

May we understand that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

May we learn that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re downhill are the ones to help you get back up.

May we learn that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

May we learn to understand that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.

May we understand that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

May we learn that our family won’t always be there for us.

May we learn that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while.

May we learn that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

May we learn no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

May we learn that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

May we understand that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

May we learn that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

May we learn that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

May we learn it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

May we learn that we are not good or bad, we are good and bad.

May we learn to love above all discontentment. To give even when we are stripped of everything. To work happily even when we find ourselves in the midst of all obstacles. To dry tears even when we are still crying. To believe even when we are discredited.

May we understand that sacrifice is not a virtue and joy is not a sin

Happy Diwaali 😉

P.S All these thoughts are compiled from the series of thoughts shared by Paulo Coelho.

Photo credit: google.com

It is always said that the  “Marriages are made in heaven”. It happened to be my cousin’s wedding last month. Highly excited, I went with my parents to Punjab. Not that I was excited for the marriage but to be with my others cousins who can rock any party in the whole wide world with their drink, dance and abuse sessions.

But, to my own surprise none of my cousins turned up for the wedding… Since marriage is one topic I’ve been running away from ages, I decided to dig into it now. “Marriage… what does it actually mean?” I wondered looking at my cousin.

Sitting in a remote village of punjab, I quickly buzzed my friend on chat, “Can you do me a favour? I want a small research to be done on Anand Karaj. Would you do that for me?” I requested. “Yes sure… will revert with the information by tomorrow’ he replied.

Ever since I was born, I have been to countless marriages. In childhood, I used to get dozed off even before Anand Karaj could start. When I grew up, I could be seen dancing or drinking with cousins while others were busy in main marriage ceremonies.

Nevertheless, better late than never. I saw my cousin closely. I noticed each detail… saw her from head to toe. She did look happy, I saw her hands, she was getting her wedding mehandi done. “What does it mean to be married? Someone entering a new phase of life. It is exciting at the same time involves a lot of risks. And most importantly, why was marriage created? Do people the see the spiritual side of it? Did my cousin thought of it before saying yes to this guy? are people as mad as I am?”

On that very same night, I questioned my mother, Why is she so excited for this marriage. Her reply was “The girl is finally going to her own house and to her people, May God bless her”. I wondered if my cousin had been spending all her life in some refugee camp or what?!

I started creating an image of life after marriage. “You adapt to new surroundings, live with your newly made relatives, mould perfectly into your environment and take care of your husband’s needs. You are told to be obedient but you are miserable in this new dwelling, where you learn the actual meaning of ‘compromise’. You confide your feelings to your friend and she tells you to just adjust and think of the families. After a while everyone start putting pressure for child and even before you can understand anything, you are a mother of a human being. You get tired of questioning and confiding and learn to fall in love after marriage… Well, the love just seems to grow out of familiarity. You tolerate and bear all the differences for the sake of your children and life teaches you that marriage is an institution that leads away from living.”

“THAT”S AWFULLY HORRIFYING” I thought… and dozed off

Just before I was rushing for the Gurudwara next day, my friend buzzed me “Do you know what Anand Karaj is?”
“Yes, It is the main marriage ceremony” I replied.
He again asked, “ And what is laav?”
I replied, “Phere”
He continued: Anand Karaj means “Blissful Event”. It is regarded as a blissful union… a sacred bond of mutual dependence between a man and a woman; a true partnership of equals is made between those who are united in spirit as well as in mind and body. Marriage is not merely a physical and legal contract but is a fusion of the souls; a holy union between two souls, they need to become “Ek Jot Doe Murti” meaning “one spirit in two bodies”.

I was stunned, It meant so beautiful I thought. Where has the real meaning vanished?

He continued:
This Sikh marriage ceremony demands a bit more from the couple than is normally expected. The Sikh Scriptures advise that:
“They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together.
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies.

“But this can be possible even without getting into marriage” I thought.

All family members gathered at Gurudwara and marriage ceremony started… all looked so beautiful suddenly.

“And what does all 4 laav mean?” I wrote to him

He gave me a detailed explanation on each laav (Phere)

“Wow! why don’t people see the beauty of it then? It is divine and is truly a blissful event” I thought

Since the topic tempted me greatly , I decided to do a detailed research on the history of Marriage and why the institution was invented?

“Marriage was created with a purpose, and the same purpose has lost its value in todays time… or was it ever there?!…” I thought

Through most of the civilizations, marriage has been more a matter of money, power and survival than of delicate sentiments.

Originally “marriage” was a private, binding contract between clans (families) to form an alliance, thereby increasing the clan’s chances for survival in war against rival clans. A “dowry” was given by each clan to “seal the deal”. Marriage was contractual, considered a passing of “property” between clans as a symbol of intention to honor the agreement being made. Property took many forms: cattle, land, children, whatever was considered to be of great value at the time.

The origins of marriage is NOT religious, nor does it have anything to do with the SPIRITUALITY.

It is verbally bartered agreements whereby a man agreed to provide care, security and access to survival resources to a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. This would assure him that his genetic legacy was safe as was the passing down of the survival resources to his own children and not to anyone else’s.

It shocked me to death. I was seeking a spiritual meaning to something which was material through and through. The main purpose behind the invention of marriage was to practice sex under regulations and to bring security within the group. e.i to control sexual relationship within the families/cousins/siblings.

My own heart came out of my throat.

When human beings were made or created by God… God’s main purpose was to let those creatures enjoy the life that they were blessed with. Further, humans invented an institution called marriage that certifies or legalises the social union or partnership between two human beings called spouses. Marriage was made for humans, humans were not made for marriages. Then why marriage becomes the only goal of life for some people?

Why do people think that marriage will bring assurance and security in one’s life and above all they believe they know better with whom a person should marry to. If It’s union of two spirits, two souls and bodies creating one universe. Let a human decide which soul he/she wants to collide with… gets united with and become one.

Throughout my whole research, I discovered that marriage has no religious or spiritual meaning. The only reason it was given a sacred meaning is that at one point the yester generations did understand that the future generations are going to disregard and disrespect Marriage as an institution. It was their own guilt which brought respect to the institution. Whereas the only sacred things since the starting of life on this earth are LOVE & SEX. These are the only divine powers to reach God… meet eternity.

The reason why most of the arranged marriages worked in the past was because of the mutual acceptance of the dependence on eachother. Men were dependent on women for household chores and women were dependent on men for social security. Arranged marriages seek to control people’s sexual encounters, intimate relationships, procreative abilities, and much more.

And the reason why marriages fail in today’s time is because people seek love in marriage. Where love is surely a foundation of any relationship, we all fail to understand that love transforms with time. Marriage does depend on love in todays time but with acceptance of the transformation… cause Love evolves… it grows and grows and make people wise.

There are three Greek word which describe love: Eros, Philos and Agape.

When two people get attracted to each other and the love is in the air. Eros is the spirit that combines those two together. Everything seems beautiful until eros transforms and the couple feel that they are not free to express their eros and instead of creating something new, both feel robbed as both have sacrificed a lot for each other. It becomes social love without the vestige of passion. Those who survive this reach to the next phase of love: Philos. Philos is love in the form of friendship. When the flame of eros stops burning, it is philos that keeps a couple together. It is at this juncture people think that all the passion and love is lost and the marriage is leading to nowhere. Where, it actually has taken them to the next level… the level where both become closer. Usually at this stage couples lose all interest and marriages fail. All of us seek eros, and then when eros wants to turn itself into philos, we think that love is worthless. We don’t see that it is philos that leads us to the highest form of love, agape.

Agape is total love. It is the love that consumes the person who experiences it. It is the love that transforms everything around. Whoever knows and experiences agape learns that nothing else in the world is important – just love. It is a feeling that suffuses, that fills every space in us, and turns our aggression to dust.

I still believe the foundation of marriage should be love. And besides practicing sex, it is an institution to practice love and romance. It’s a phase in two individual’s lives to grow together, learn together, make the other one better, become wiser…. and gain wisdom. It’s chance to experience life, explore the world and if possible the whole universe while fighting for and with each other.

I am yet to experience it, therefore, I am limiting my definition. But even if I go through this, i definitely would want to give it a better meaning than this. When two people unite mentally, physically and spiritually, that is sacred. And yes, I strongly believe love & sex are more sacred and divine than any socially certified marriage ceremonies.

Concluding this with these lines, I found from The Zahir on married couple.

“You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other’s shadow.”

“I expected compassion from you Jasmeet. You could use a better term for these images” said one of my disheartened clients. “Compassion! for what?” I thought. I just referred the images sent by her for a brochure as TRASH, which they actually were….

But, yes I was a bit harsh!

The word “compassion” took me back to memories…

It was June and my fathers birthday was coming. Since that man never buys anything for himself, I decided to buy some shirts for him. After office, I headed for shopping, I bought two perfect shirts in the shades of blue. Highly satisfied and delighted with what I had bought for the first man of my life, I decided to treat myself with a cup of coffee and of course a warm muffin with choco syrup on top to go with it… 😀

The coffee shop was full, I looked around and saw an empty table in the far corner. “wow a perfect place” I thought. I quickly headed towards it to grab the place before anyone else could grab it. In hurry, my bag hit the elbow of an elderly person who was having coffee with his wife. it must have been very hot I am sure as the facial expression of the man changed immediately and I could see anger on his face. “I am so sorry uncle” I said with a puppy face.

He just burst out on me… “You! Can you not even handle your bloody bag?!”

“I did not do it purposely uncle. I am really very sorry!” I apologized, almost begged!

“Do you know how hot it was? It burned my lips” He said angrily

 

The man did not say anything further, I grabbed my seat,

I felt disgusting, terrible, so so so very inhuman. “Where is the humanity gone? where is the word compassion vanished from our society” I thought.

I took out my diary, started writing whatever crap came in my mind… bad things.. about everything.. almost each thing existed on this planet. “OMG one bad incident can bring the worst out of you Jazz! The devil is on fire babes” I thought.

The coffee and muffin that was served immediately, tasted as bad as poison.The beauty of the whole evening just vanished.

“People have become so irritated, frustrated, inhuman, brutal and insensitive. What will happen to the society, to the humanity. Where are we heading to….? materialistic things? thas it? where is the peace, love, care & respect? I Agree it was my mistake but he could be little gentle as I did not hurt him purposely. What the heck” I thought.

A handsome guy in front of me who was continuously staring at me, looked the most ugliest guy I ever saw. (who knows if he was wondering, how could a girl be so dumb?! ufffffff)

I continued writing stupidest things ever in my diary… the coffee tasted yucks… and muffin was the worst muffin ever…*sobs*

Lost in my own thoughts, I did not notice that someone came near my table and standing, I looked up, It was the same man,

 “Its Ok beta, I am also sorry, I spoilt your mood” He said

My face lit up “Noh! I am really sorry uncle. I want to offer you a cup of coffee.”

“I just had it. you enjoy yourself. Thank you!” And he left

OH MY GOD!

I was on seventh heaven, “Wow… Humanity is there, people do respect and love each other and its not as bad as I am thinking. People are still compassionate.” I thought

Suddenly all the good thoughts in the universe started pouring out on my diary. The angle in me was back. what a relief.

The coffee tasted… the yummiest ever… The muffin was the most delectable thing I ever tasted. and the handsome guy… looked the sexiest ever 😀 uffff just one act of kindness can bring so much happiness 😀

That evening will always remind me that ” yes! we all are tired of this fast racing world, yes we do have busy lives BUT humanity, love, care, respect, compassion… all these words have not lost their meaning yet!”

I am thankful to that man, cause he is an important part of my own growth! 🙂

“Asha Bhosle’s daughter Varsha commits suicide: Police”

Was news of the day!

“Last time she tried by overdose of pills…. this time she shot herself. Whoa! last time was 3 yrs ago”. I read on internet

“Man! she must be much more disturbed and irritated with life than us. Who knows what is going on in one’s life. Hope her soul RIP” I thought

As always my mind started wandering….

Nobody wants to die… nobody wants to leave their loved ones left behind. Then, what prods a person to end all.. stops the journey and leave everything?! Its like… deactivating your facebook account in rage knowing that there isn’t any other setting of coming back or restore it. OMG dangerous. :O Isn’t it?!

Though, in the mind of someone considering suicide, the act may seem like an expeditious and effective way to eliminate pain. But, I’m sure we’re all are familiar with the old bromide, “suicide doesn’t fix anything.”

If someone decides to die or end their life, means the person is going through a major emotional and social turmoil. They are convinced that they do not want to get burdened with anything anymore.Yes ofcourse, there is a solution to everything and people should learn to accept life as it comes. But, most of us at some point in our lives have lost hope while fighting important battles.

“As far as suicide is concerned, although we never know how much a human being is already handling in life. But, it does require a lot of courage for someone to even hurt himself.” I thought

More questioned popped up in my mind.

Is it really a crime to commit suicide? And why do people lose faith and believe in themselves? How can people accept their defeat and failures so easily?

In India, attempted suicide is an offence punishable under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code. “Whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year or with fine, or with both.”

WOW, someone who is already so much disturbed with life is sent to imprisonment?! Instead of sending them to rehabilitation, they are sent to imprisonment to make things worse?A person who attempts to suicide is in depression and needs help rather than punishment/imprisonment/fine.

In religious point of view, suicide is considered as a grave and serious sin. In Hinduism it is believed that suicide causes the soul and body to be separated at an unnatural time. The result damages the karma of the person. But, interestingly, Jainism is one religion that permits suicide with restrictions.

We all have known the feeling when dreams are shattered, promises are broken, people are cheated, when things go terribly wrong.. and when nothing seems to work out. Times when hope, trust, faith… all go waste… nothing keeps us going and there is no urge to live.

Its not a crime if someone decides to leave the physical form of themselves. If we have a right to drink, smoke, live the way we want, then we do have the right to die… and the way we want it to be ended. When God sent us here, he wanted us to live happily, and we when are unable to, we have full right to opt out and make a choice.

We are none to comment on someone’s decision when we all make mistakes each day. A human soul needs love & care. The worst time for any person on this earth is the when he/she considers himself totally insignificant. There are so many alive, but there are very few who are living. In search of our happiness we fail to understand that without disappointments, defeats and despair… this life on earth is incomplete.

Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle! 

I always believe that each one of us are fighting our own battles in the best way possible. And the beauty of life is that each one of us have a unique battle to fight. There are many like me who have at some point of time did ask God to take their lives away cause the battle was tough and dirty. But, as one of my dear friends says when I lose all the hope “You are a great performer Jasmeet. You perform so well each time that God throws a tougher challenge each time.”

I would love to conclude this post with an extract from The Fifth Mountain. Whenever, I lose hope, I read this again and again… and again 🙂 and say I love you God! 🙂

THAT NIGHT, a man entered Jacob’s tent and wrestled with him until the break of day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he said, “Let me go.” Jacob answered, “I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.” Then the man said to him: “As a prince, hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. What is thy name?” And he said, Jacob. And the man answered: “Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel.”

Long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: “Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?” The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling

that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens–not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

 “The brave are always stubborn.”

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts. Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

“We, however, struggle with the Lord, just as we struggle with the men and women we love in our lifetimes. For it is that struggle with the divine that blesses us and makes us grow. We grasp the opportunity in the tragedy and do our duty by Him, by proving we were able to obey the order to walk. Even in the worst of circumstances, we have forged ahead. “There are moments when God demands obedience. But there are moments in which He wishes to test our will and challenges us to understand His love.”

“Take advantage of the chance that tragedy has given you; not everyone is capable of doing so.”

P.S I would request each one of you to please read this book at least once, it will change your life and thinking forever. It has always given me so much strength during hard times. 🙂

Her hands were numb and her eyes were blurry “Its been 15 days now that she had not cried” said the Messenger inside her.

“And its a bad sign!” replied her Guardian.

“Oh shut up! It’s been God knows how many months that she was crying. Its good. She is at peace with herself now.” defended the Messenger within her.

The Guardian was upset with this new change in her. Crying had become an every day and night ritual for her. She used shed tears whenever and wherever possible. The sudden stop of crying meant the worst change.

“I think crying worked as a medicine for her” Said the Guardian.

“Yes! you wanted to see her suffering. She has stopped crying and afterwards, will resume back to her normal life and become happy. Do you think she deserves to cry for no reason?” asked the Messenger.

Guardian was losing its strength, “Crying kept her alive”

“It just brought her sleepless nights” Said the Messenger

“It made her strong enough to endure everything. She has become so cold now!” replied the Guardian disappointingly.

The Messenger knew what the Guardian was trying to communicate but, it also knew that crying was leading her nowhere.

“She will be fine. She has fought many more battles in the past and has come through with flying colours.” Said, ignoring the sad tone in the Guardian’s voice.

“Crying is not a sign of weakness just as laughter is not a sign of strength. Crying meant she was strong, she was alive, and she was fighting. I wanted her to die as a brave warrior. If smiling and laughing is important for a person, then pouring out your emotions are important as well. Honest tears cleanse your heart and soul. Her soul has died it seems. The struggle and pain should make a person better. she has become bitter. ” The Guardian defended

The Messenger got furious “ Oh! do you think it is right show your weakness.. and your vulnerability when no one even cares for her tears? she needs to be strong now.”

The Guardian had nothing to say… “ Weak and vulnerable are those who suppress their emotions. Hiding emotions is like getting hurt inside each moment. Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Blessed are those who weep, for they shall laugh”

P.S Messenger here is referred as Devil and the Guardian is referred as guardian angel we all have within us.

“I would not talk to him again, He always underestimates me. This time I am not gonna go back to him”. I left home muttering these words in anger, I again had a fight with him this morning. It has always been a love and hate relationship between us, ever since I’ve known him. Me hating him sometimes and he loving me always.

Despite me being so impossible, foolish, stubborn, illogical and impractical, he has always loved and cared for me. This riles me even further. “How could he love me for being such a disgusting human being.?!?! grhhhhhh! And thas why I would again go back to him and apologize. I know he would not even say anything and forgive. I am taking advantage of his kindness. Gosh! Even after everything he gets successful in making me feel guilty.WOW” I thought.

Since the beginning of our relationship or say I was born, I was told that he is the one who will stay with me even if all will leave. He will guide me holding my hand and take me through everything. Even in the darkest times, he will keep his hands on my head. And I believed, and the eternal long lasting relationship of ours started.

Yes! You got it right… I am talking about him! “God”. I know all must be thinking why him? How can I be sure if God is male/female. But its my God, and I chose him to be him 🙂

My training of worshiping started from the very first day I opened my eyes. As a toddler I used to repeat (parrotlike) whatever my parents taught me or the way she described him in. And by the time I was young enough to understand everything, I had created my own image of HIM within me. Someone who was always besides me and with whom I could fight anytime… 🙂 😛

Just like any other normal kid, I also had a long list of things to be asked from God. Right from a barbie doll to a bicycle, or a new dress… the list was always long and never ending. He did answer most of my prayers and blessed me with a lot of things, but like a true human being, I was never satisfied. And slowly and gradually I understood, “Jasmeet this list of yours, will never end… You will keep on adding things into it. Ask better things from him.” And since that day. List was replaced with a simple prayer.

“A prayer couched in the words of the soul, is far more powerful than any ritual” from Brida

Prayer- a simplest way to connect and be friends with God. Whatever asked and said with a true heart is always answered. Listen to God. But, whenever he wants to connect with us, we get busy complaining to him. Just be silent, accept the universe as it, and listen to your inner core, God resides there.

God doesn’t want to hear big fancy words or cliches. He is even with those who worship him in simple ways and remember him in each phase of their lives.

There are different and various paths that lead to that supreme God, and for me he chose the path of Sikhism, for others it is different paths/religions. Being a born Sikh, I always wondered if I will recite Japji sahib then only I can be the wisest. Is this the only way to reach and understand God. Though I respect all religions, but the way I will get connected with my super God is my choice, I will decide the way and the words.

Guru Granth Sahib, Bhagavat Geeta, Holy Bible, Quran or any other Holy book are just collections of personal experience of understanding of God or how they describe God. With due respect to each and every holy book, I would say that they are just compilation of humans thought and experiences. The way they described their experience of realisation, the way they described God. Rituals are mere a worthless process.

I have picked up these lines from amazingly written and my most favourite chapter called “Personal Vices” from The pilgrimage.

`Pity those who eat and drink and sate themselves, but are unhappy and alone in their satiety. But pity even more those who fast, and who censure and prohibit, and who thereby see themselves as saints, preaching your name in the streets. For neither of these types of people know thy law that says, “If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true.”

Coming back to my fight with him, I was really angry on him and was thinking that he is testing my patience beyond limits (although i know he knows my strength and wants to make me stronger). I was in no mood to patch up with him and then I found a beautiful prayer by PC that motivated me so much that all my anger just faded. “Ok ok I heard it. I am getting the signs!” I told to my inner core And I just (hate) love to say, I again apologised to him.

I also have a personal prayer written in punjabi, yes my God speaks in Punjabi with me 😛 I wanted to share it as to motivate others to create their own prayers and connect with their universal God in their own personal way.

Waheguru, tenu sab pata, Ki changa hai… ki mada hai , sabkuch,

Tetho kuchh ni lughona…Tenu pata mere dil ch ki hai, mainu ki chahida…par tenu eh v pata mainu kis cheez di jyada load hai. 

Waheguru tere naal hi ladna hai, tainu hi manauna. Tere naal hi pyaar karna… tere kol hi shikaita karniya ne.

Tu hi bakshish karega… tu hi chaddiyan kalan ch rakhenga. 

Meri bewakoofiyan… saari galtiya maaf kari… Mainu ladan di shakti deyi mere daata.

Mainu sabar, santok aur sadbudhi bakshi. Sarbat da bhala kari… sareya nu raazi khushi rakhi… 🙂

P.S Since the prayer by PC is very long, I have not included it here. But those are interested in the poem can drop in a comment with their e-mail id’s. I will surely share it over mail 😉

It was a bright Sunday morning, and I was again out on my regular city tour. Did not know where to go and what to do.

Hopped in an auto, impetuously headed towards Ferozeshah Tomb, The place is an isolated one and a secret hide out for me. I’ve been to many tombs in my life but this one has its own charm. Ideal for a person like me.

For those who have never been to that place, Let me explain that Hauz Khas Village complex has a lake, mosque, tomb and madrasa. It also has a long passage with restaurants and shops before you can actually enter the premises of the tomb. The place is famous for its restaurants, lounge & bars… perfecto to hang out with friends or family ;)))

These pictures are taken from my mobile, next time I’ll make sure I carry my DSLR along.

Anyways, I reached the place, quickly started my march towards the tomb. And only when I reached the halfway, something hit me like a thunderbolt.

“Why am I in so much hurry to reach the tomb? Yes I do want to save time but I am not even running short of time” I thought. I went back to where I had started my march and again slowly and leisurely started walking towards the tomb premises. I did notice the signboards, houses, restaurants, bars, people, cranky kids with their parents, pretty girls in dreadful dresses and fancy makeup, studs showing off their gadgets, mobile phone/tab/note or whatever (I am technophobic 😀 ). The whole experience of walking towards the tomb changed in a jiffy. Even in the hot sunny day the walk seemed cool. And a thought popped up immediately.

“We all have destinations and destinies in life. We all want to reach that mountain peak. But in the hush and hurry… in all the hustle bustle, we forget the path that we have taken or chosen to reach that final destination.

“We concentrate ourselves so much in the future that we lost the charm of the present moments. There is so much, so many small details in life that just go unnoticed cause our own attention is on the other bigger goals that we have set for lives. Yes we do need to set goals in life , we do need to have ambitions, they prod us to achieve more and keep moving but that doesn’t mean that for dream life we stop living.

Reaching the destinations means the end of a journey, end of that search, end of the start.

We are running in the race of life so that others accept us, we want to prove ourselves that we are socially accepted. Since the beginning of life it’s been important to gain wealth than mental peace. Easy life is described as luxury, no struggle and running away. But in reality smaller things in life makes life beautiful and not the bigger achievements.

Why do we forget that. Cherish each moment, make it valuable, create memories… cry or laugh.. do maddening things and die peacefully. The beauty of life lies in each moment, we can not wait and let happiness come to us. Happiness is always with us on that same path that we are following and not waiting for us at the goal or destination.

Signing off with these lines from Aleph… which make no sense 😀

“We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognize it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.

We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.

We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.

We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: ‘You are ugly.’ Or: ‘She is pretty.’ With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence.

And we become ugly and embittered.”

P.S I wrote this post in my diary first, and the very first thought that came in my mind was, “Shit man! I seriously need to do something about my writing! 😥 My kids will definitely have dyslexia :|“

When darkness hits the door of the day,

When the birds go back to where they stay.

When the moon illuminates the sky,

All your shattered dreams seek another try.

(Wow kya rhyme banayi maine 😛 I cunt believe… Oops! I mean I can’t believe :P)

‘Night’ the feeling of this one single and simple word has different meanings for each one of us. After that tough tiresome day, a blissful night comes. We with whatever problems or obstacles we have in our lives, hit the sack with a hope of a better tomorrow.

Night, with those long empty streets, the silence in the air kissing my face, the clear twinkling sky… the milky way above my head… when you can hear the echo of your own soul… has always been a true companion to me.

Those countless sleepless nights having silent cries. Nights when you take out all your anger, disappointment and aggression you have within. You feel your own heart will come out of your throat, whilst others are asleep lost in their own dreamland. Yes when your eyes are wet and blurry. Doing calculations of your life, what went wrong, what could go worse, what could be better and what has to be done. The night when you want to scream out loud and burst into tears but all you can do is hold onto your breathe and keep quiet until you can not breathe no longer. yes, I am talking about those nights.

“Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry”

The times when you have nothing to look forward to in life, there are disappointments, defeats, failures and nothing… absolutely nothing makes sense. And with time your bed becomes the slice of heaven, your own pillow becomes your best friend and the ceiling of your room becomes your own great guide. (I actually talk with my pillow :D)

Then all you need to do is “forgive”. Forgive that inexcusable in you. Forgive yourself for all you have done in life… those mistakes, faults, sins, lies… and sufferings. Forgive yourself, cause thas much more difficult than forgiving anyone else. Those regrets will never bring happiness. Those repents will block all the joys. Be proud and forgive yourself cause we all make mistakes. Cause since the starting of life on this earth, we all have been making mistakes.

Though I never wanted to share these lines from Aleph, but since I have always broken the promises I’ve done with myself. So here it is,

The tears I shed, I forgive.
The suffering and disappointments, I forgive.
The betrayals and lies, I forgive.
The slandering and scheming, I forgive.
The hatred and persecution, I forgive.
The punches that were given, I forgive.
The shattered dreams, I forgive.
The dead hopes, I forgive.
The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive.
The indifference and ill will, I forgive.
The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive.
The anger and mistreatment, I forgive.
The neglect and oblivion, I forgive.
The world with all its evil, I forgive.
Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement.
Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin.
Pain I replace with oblivion.
Revenge, I replace with victory.
I will be able to love above all discontentment.
To give even when I am stripped of everything.
To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles.
To dry tears even when I am still crying.
To believe even when I am discredited.

P.S This post is dedicated to Regina Gomes. Love you Hun 😉 Stay Blessed and Love more! 🙂

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