“I would not talk to him again, He always underestimates me. This time I am not gonna go back to him”. I left home muttering these words in anger, I again had a fight with him this morning. It has always been a love and hate relationship between us, ever since I’ve known him. Me hating him sometimes and he loving me always.

Despite me being so impossible, foolish, stubborn, illogical and impractical, he has always loved and cared for me. This riles me even further. “How could he love me for being such a disgusting human being.?!?! grhhhhhh! And thas why I would again go back to him and apologize. I know he would not even say anything and forgive. I am taking advantage of his kindness. Gosh! Even after everything he gets successful in making me feel guilty.WOW” I thought.

Since the beginning of our relationship or say I was born, I was told that he is the one who will stay with me even if all will leave. He will guide me holding my hand and take me through everything. Even in the darkest times, he will keep his hands on my head. And I believed, and the eternal long lasting relationship of ours started.

Yes! You got it right… I am talking about him! “God”. I know all must be thinking why him? How can I be sure if God is male/female. But its my God, and I chose him to be him 🙂

My training of worshiping started from the very first day I opened my eyes. As a toddler I used to repeat (parrotlike) whatever my parents taught me or the way she described him in. And by the time I was young enough to understand everything, I had created my own image of HIM within me. Someone who was always besides me and with whom I could fight anytime… 🙂 😛

Just like any other normal kid, I also had a long list of things to be asked from God. Right from a barbie doll to a bicycle, or a new dress… the list was always long and never ending. He did answer most of my prayers and blessed me with a lot of things, but like a true human being, I was never satisfied. And slowly and gradually I understood, “Jasmeet this list of yours, will never end… You will keep on adding things into it. Ask better things from him.” And since that day. List was replaced with a simple prayer.

“A prayer couched in the words of the soul, is far more powerful than any ritual” from Brida

Prayer- a simplest way to connect and be friends with God. Whatever asked and said with a true heart is always answered. Listen to God. But, whenever he wants to connect with us, we get busy complaining to him. Just be silent, accept the universe as it, and listen to your inner core, God resides there.

God doesn’t want to hear big fancy words or cliches. He is even with those who worship him in simple ways and remember him in each phase of their lives.

There are different and various paths that lead to that supreme God, and for me he chose the path of Sikhism, for others it is different paths/religions. Being a born Sikh, I always wondered if I will recite Japji sahib then only I can be the wisest. Is this the only way to reach and understand God. Though I respect all religions, but the way I will get connected with my super God is my choice, I will decide the way and the words.

Guru Granth Sahib, Bhagavat Geeta, Holy Bible, Quran or any other Holy book are just collections of personal experience of understanding of God or how they describe God. With due respect to each and every holy book, I would say that they are just compilation of humans thought and experiences. The way they described their experience of realisation, the way they described God. Rituals are mere a worthless process.

I have picked up these lines from amazingly written and my most favourite chapter called “Personal Vices” from The pilgrimage.

`Pity those who eat and drink and sate themselves, but are unhappy and alone in their satiety. But pity even more those who fast, and who censure and prohibit, and who thereby see themselves as saints, preaching your name in the streets. For neither of these types of people know thy law that says, “If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true.”

Coming back to my fight with him, I was really angry on him and was thinking that he is testing my patience beyond limits (although i know he knows my strength and wants to make me stronger). I was in no mood to patch up with him and then I found a beautiful prayer by PC that motivated me so much that all my anger just faded. “Ok ok I heard it. I am getting the signs!” I told to my inner core And I just (hate) love to say, I again apologised to him.

I also have a personal prayer written in punjabi, yes my God speaks in Punjabi with me 😛 I wanted to share it as to motivate others to create their own prayers and connect with their universal God in their own personal way.

Waheguru, tenu sab pata, Ki changa hai… ki mada hai , sabkuch,

Tetho kuchh ni lughona…Tenu pata mere dil ch ki hai, mainu ki chahida…par tenu eh v pata mainu kis cheez di jyada load hai. 

Waheguru tere naal hi ladna hai, tainu hi manauna. Tere naal hi pyaar karna… tere kol hi shikaita karniya ne.

Tu hi bakshish karega… tu hi chaddiyan kalan ch rakhenga. 

Meri bewakoofiyan… saari galtiya maaf kari… Mainu ladan di shakti deyi mere daata.

Mainu sabar, santok aur sadbudhi bakshi. Sarbat da bhala kari… sareya nu raazi khushi rakhi… 🙂

P.S Since the prayer by PC is very long, I have not included it here. But those are interested in the poem can drop in a comment with their e-mail id’s. I will surely share it over mail 😉

It was a bright Sunday morning, and I was again out on my regular city tour. Did not know where to go and what to do.

Hopped in an auto, impetuously headed towards Ferozeshah Tomb, The place is an isolated one and a secret hide out for me. I’ve been to many tombs in my life but this one has its own charm. Ideal for a person like me.

For those who have never been to that place, Let me explain that Hauz Khas Village complex has a lake, mosque, tomb and madrasa. It also has a long passage with restaurants and shops before you can actually enter the premises of the tomb. The place is famous for its restaurants, lounge & bars… perfecto to hang out with friends or family ;)))

These pictures are taken from my mobile, next time I’ll make sure I carry my DSLR along.

Anyways, I reached the place, quickly started my march towards the tomb. And only when I reached the halfway, something hit me like a thunderbolt.

“Why am I in so much hurry to reach the tomb? Yes I do want to save time but I am not even running short of time” I thought. I went back to where I had started my march and again slowly and leisurely started walking towards the tomb premises. I did notice the signboards, houses, restaurants, bars, people, cranky kids with their parents, pretty girls in dreadful dresses and fancy makeup, studs showing off their gadgets, mobile phone/tab/note or whatever (I am technophobic 😀 ). The whole experience of walking towards the tomb changed in a jiffy. Even in the hot sunny day the walk seemed cool. And a thought popped up immediately.

“We all have destinations and destinies in life. We all want to reach that mountain peak. But in the hush and hurry… in all the hustle bustle, we forget the path that we have taken or chosen to reach that final destination.

“We concentrate ourselves so much in the future that we lost the charm of the present moments. There is so much, so many small details in life that just go unnoticed cause our own attention is on the other bigger goals that we have set for lives. Yes we do need to set goals in life , we do need to have ambitions, they prod us to achieve more and keep moving but that doesn’t mean that for dream life we stop living.

Reaching the destinations means the end of a journey, end of that search, end of the start.

We are running in the race of life so that others accept us, we want to prove ourselves that we are socially accepted. Since the beginning of life it’s been important to gain wealth than mental peace. Easy life is described as luxury, no struggle and running away. But in reality smaller things in life makes life beautiful and not the bigger achievements.

Why do we forget that. Cherish each moment, make it valuable, create memories… cry or laugh.. do maddening things and die peacefully. The beauty of life lies in each moment, we can not wait and let happiness come to us. Happiness is always with us on that same path that we are following and not waiting for us at the goal or destination.

Signing off with these lines from Aleph… which make no sense 😀

“We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognize it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.

We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.

We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.

We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: ‘You are ugly.’ Or: ‘She is pretty.’ With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence.

And we become ugly and embittered.”

P.S I wrote this post in my diary first, and the very first thought that came in my mind was, “Shit man! I seriously need to do something about my writing! 😥 My kids will definitely have dyslexia :|“

When darkness hits the door of the day,

When the birds go back to where they stay.

When the moon illuminates the sky,

All your shattered dreams seek another try.

(Wow kya rhyme banayi maine 😛 I cunt believe… Oops! I mean I can’t believe :P)

‘Night’ the feeling of this one single and simple word has different meanings for each one of us. After that tough tiresome day, a blissful night comes. We with whatever problems or obstacles we have in our lives, hit the sack with a hope of a better tomorrow.

Night, with those long empty streets, the silence in the air kissing my face, the clear twinkling sky… the milky way above my head… when you can hear the echo of your own soul… has always been a true companion to me.

Those countless sleepless nights having silent cries. Nights when you take out all your anger, disappointment and aggression you have within. You feel your own heart will come out of your throat, whilst others are asleep lost in their own dreamland. Yes when your eyes are wet and blurry. Doing calculations of your life, what went wrong, what could go worse, what could be better and what has to be done. The night when you want to scream out loud and burst into tears but all you can do is hold onto your breathe and keep quiet until you can not breathe no longer. yes, I am talking about those nights.

“Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry”

The times when you have nothing to look forward to in life, there are disappointments, defeats, failures and nothing… absolutely nothing makes sense. And with time your bed becomes the slice of heaven, your own pillow becomes your best friend and the ceiling of your room becomes your own great guide. (I actually talk with my pillow :D)

Then all you need to do is “forgive”. Forgive that inexcusable in you. Forgive yourself for all you have done in life… those mistakes, faults, sins, lies… and sufferings. Forgive yourself, cause thas much more difficult than forgiving anyone else. Those regrets will never bring happiness. Those repents will block all the joys. Be proud and forgive yourself cause we all make mistakes. Cause since the starting of life on this earth, we all have been making mistakes.

Though I never wanted to share these lines from Aleph, but since I have always broken the promises I’ve done with myself. So here it is,

The tears I shed, I forgive.
The suffering and disappointments, I forgive.
The betrayals and lies, I forgive.
The slandering and scheming, I forgive.
The hatred and persecution, I forgive.
The punches that were given, I forgive.
The shattered dreams, I forgive.
The dead hopes, I forgive.
The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive.
The indifference and ill will, I forgive.
The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive.
The anger and mistreatment, I forgive.
The neglect and oblivion, I forgive.
The world with all its evil, I forgive.
Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement.
Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin.
Pain I replace with oblivion.
Revenge, I replace with victory.
I will be able to love above all discontentment.
To give even when I am stripped of everything.
To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles.
To dry tears even when I am still crying.
To believe even when I am discredited.

P.S This post is dedicated to Regina Gomes. Love you Hun 😉 Stay Blessed and Love more! 🙂

I did a small check on google. “What is love?” and top few results forced me to immediately start this post without any research 😀

Although I believe I am none to talk on this topic and perhaps whatever I have written makes no sense to many but thas my understanding of the subject. 🙂

Here, I am sharing a conversation with one of my heartbroken friend. He never believed in love until he himself fell for someone.

“wish she loved me too!” He said with tears in eyes.

“Mysteries of life… (with a pause) makes it beautiful” I replied

“You still love him?” he asked

With a deep thought… “He is the man I am!” I said
Pretending to understand he just nodded… and I thought the topic is finally over! but he again continued…

“Why does it pain so much? I miss her like hell.”

“Pain.. makes its blissful” I told with shining eyes
He looked confused, none of my talks made sense to him. I continued reading his thoughts.

“Love, the purest of pure emotions. There are different dimensions of it. and for his bravest of brave children God chose the toughest path. The path of suffering.

“If you want to see a rainbow you have to learn to see the rain.” From Aleph

‘This is a phase where you will learn and experience love through pain… And trust me, even when it hurts so much…. even in its worst form.. Love is amazingly beautiful… God blessed us all with the glory of love.. he poured this greatest emotion on us. He loves you… he was with you when you cried in the nights… even when you got angry on him… fought with him.. He gave you the strength and power to endure everything. He made you strong and brave. And through this phase, you will know how divine love could be… even when it is terribly complicated.” I said

“I am thankful to God that he chose the best person in the whole Universe to take me through this experience. I experienced love through pain and it still makes me feel beautiful.” I thought

He was irritated now, “I have not been able to understand it. What exactly love is?”

“Love is exactly what you are right now. So pure and so true. your emotion is so supreme and so great that none… absolutely none can have the same emotion in the whole universe as yours. There is no dictionary meaning. No google search or any other search engine which can tell or explain your emotion.

“Love is such a personal emotion that it can never be same for two people. It’s something which was developed within your own core, then how can others put it or explain it into words. The only way to know love is to experience it.

“ And regardless of how many times you fall in love once, twice, thrice, everytime its a new emotion…. different from the last time. Even zillion pages will be too less to explain this single mystical word called “love”.

“But why is it one sided? Wish I had not fallen for her. I’ve been a fool” he said
“Your love is greatest of all, even when it is unrequited. Your emotions do not lose value even when they’re one sided. Each emotion has its meaning. Never regret what you did for someone. Love is something where you can be completely illogical, foolish, crazy and mad. There are other things in life to show your sophistication. Love has to be childish and crazy. Cause if you can control it, its not love.” I told

 Of course we can try to read manuals, develop strategies, control our behavior, but all these things are useless. Love is an untamed force. (Manuscript found in Accra)

He did not reply. He asked… what did you mean by “He is the man you are”.

I replied “Means… he is the man in me”.

He immediately replied “ Oh! You mean he is inside your soul”.

I immediately correct “No! It means he has my soul”

I saw a smile on his face… “and what’s this soul concept?”

I did not want to discuss this subject further, but since the guy wanted to know my reviews, I continued.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“I have heard about the concept. But, never gave a serious thought on it” He replied

“It is not a concept. Should I explain with theories or through philosophy” I asked.

“Whichever way you think is right” He said.

“Well, to complete this Universe, God created the opposite of each thing… like south-north, hot-cold, day-night and so on. Similarly, Man and Woman.

“Men get attracted to women, the opposite of them, Cause men lack femininity in them. So is the case with women. Women lack masculinity in them. And to complete themselves, they need eachother.

“There are thousands of cases when one achieves so much in life and yet they feel empty? the eternal happiness is gone. cause the soul is incomplete. To complete their existence on the planet one searches for the other half of their soul. I am not saying that to find one important thing in your life, you have to give up all the other important things. But that’s what it has to be, learn as much possible, gain knowledge and get wisdom.

“If we are able to separate the concept of a soul mate from the romantic ideal, the field opens up exponentially. An old friend, your own father, Your own son, your sister… anyone with whom you spiritual and emotional sync could be your soulmate.

“But, when I say “He is the man in me” I meant, he is my twin flame. Cause he is the man who has my soul.. cause he is the separated part of me…. cause I am the woman in him. And when the two are together, thas the completion of the universe. Thas the eternal bliss.”

“Twin Flames are two people in two separate bodies that share the same Soul. When Twin Flames meet and are ready for each other, it is the most enjoyable experience possible on Earth.”

There is an old theory by Plato on the topic. According to which humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

According to Theosophy, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. The souls got split into two, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God.” Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

And there are other theories as well.”

“Is it possible that we have more than one soulmate in a lifetime?” he asked

“yes it is!” I answered.

He got lost in the deep thoughts as if figuring out if he will ever find a soulmate or twin flame!.

“But how will I know who my soulmate is?” as if it was the most important questions of his life.

“You will know, when you find. Till then, enjoy the disappointments, heartbreaks and failures.’ I told. “cause you can know the taste of best wine only if you have tasted the worst one” 🙂

P.S Before starting this post…. I did ask myself first “What is love?”. I seriously couldnt define it. And my heart said, Love is exactly what you feel for him.

A very few people know that I am a born loner. I’ve been spending a lot more time with myself ever since i was born (many would not believe it though). It keeps me calm and energizes me for the next day. Walking alone on a long path gives you another perspective towards almost everything in life. You get to know nature so closely… when you stroll… each thing around you starts communicating with you. Being with yourself is like being with someone special who knows you so well. When you are with you, you reach out to your soul. Your soul is free to talk to you and you can decide what you really want with your life. It is so healthy and whole. And once you have tasted the joy of aloneness, its a blissful thing.

I seriously never understood the logic behind solitary state being considered as a state of pity in ones life. An evening while I was on long walk I seriously gave it a thought. Why do people think that If one goes meandering around means that the person is having troubles in life? :-O  Why am I being questioned for being aloof. Since my family knows my degree of dementedness, they never even bother when I am out on walk for 2 hours or sometimes even more. I just walk and walk and walk until no energy left in me to walk further and I sit down on footpath and observe people. Its fun sachhi mein 😀

OSHO says “Solitariness is negative, solitude is positive.
Solitariness is ugly, solitude is beautiful.”

Then why does my solitude being questioned so much?! Perhaps, because I am a young girl (well not so young 😛) with well paid job, almost settled and single. OR as they say “perhaps because her passion was insane and as beautiful as sin” 😀 (I love this line and badly wanted to use somewhere for myself :P). It bothers the world around, cause I am not running after things the way they are? Like the way they satisfy themselves with the materialistic things instead of even knowing what they really want in life? Cause ever since they were born, they were told that they need to earn well, have a family and have all the luxurious to prove to the world that how worthy their lives are. We all are materialistic to one extent or another but are we working towards happiness in life? If so, we have thousands of examples to see of people who have been “successful” in acquiring material wealth, but who have been miserably empty inside. There is no contentedness and peace in their lives. (I will discuss this part in detail sometime later).

God sent us here to enjoy life. To cherish each moment. To gain wisdom. And in the rush of daily routines we forget what we really seek in life. Silence and solitude gives us all this. Solitude gives peace, it nourishes our soul.  Then, why the time being spent with our own self is considered to be wasted? Why is it considered to be a state of grief. Why everyone is so scared of talking to themselves. Why not they ask themselves to seek answers inside? Perhaps, because each one of us are running away from reality and when we communicate with our soul it only speaks the truth.

As always.. I really did not have answers to my crazy thoughts… and as if God heard my questions, I found these lines by Paulo…

“For those who are not frightened by the solitude, everything will have a different taste.
In solitude, they will discover the love that might otherwise arrive unnoticed.
In solitude, they will understand and respect the love that left them.
In solitude, they will be able to decide whether it is worth asking that lost love to come back or if they should simply let it go and set off along a new path.
In solitude, they will learn that saying ‘No’ does not always show a lack of generosity and that saying ‘Yes’ is not always a virtue.
And those who are alone at this moment need never be frightened by the words of the devil: ‘You’re wasting your time.’
Or by the chief demon’s even more potent words: ‘No one cares about you.’
The Divine Energy is listening to us when we speak to other people, but also when we are still and silent and able to accept solitude as a blessing.
And when we achieve that harmony, we receive more than we asked for.”

They say true love never fails, but I believe a true heart never fails. I once read, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Sometimes, I approach my loved ones when it comes to important decision making. And, regardless of their experience of life or suggestions, I do what my heart asks me to do… 😀 And those who understand their heart so well and so closely, would not be surprised. A true heart leads you to your destiny. In life I’ve understood that the best way of making any decision is to listen to your heart, a true heart never deceives cause it has gone through pain and suffering. And even after all the grief it always leads you to the right path.

I usually take important decisions of life while I am on a long walk, it gives me enough time to know what my heart really wants or seeks. Or there is an another method too, which works wonders 😀 Calm yourself… Go in front of the mirror. See yourself with all the love and affection… notice each detail of your face… look directly into your eyes… sooth yourself… and then ask… “ Do I really wanna do this? Is this what my heart wishes for? Is this is what I really want to do?” And trust me… You will know the right answer.

And, there in front of the mirror if you see a brave, courageous… and stubborn heart… that knows what it really wants. You will meet eternity. And if you see a poor, afraid and unsure heart… you will live with the guilt forever.

I read once, The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself (again from “The Alchemist”). Even Einstien said, the only people who don’t make mistakes are those who don’t try anything new. When your heart follows its dreams, you never suffer cause God himself protects you from everything. He leads you cause he loves you. He loves you even when you sin. He loves you so much that he sent you here on this earth to enjoy every bit of this Universe. Respect his love… follow your heart.. cause thats what God wants.

Our heart is our real treasure… It keeps us alive even when it goes through suffering, pian and sorrows. Choice is always yours. None… absolutely none can force you to live the way you do not want to live. And even if heart makes wrong choices just cherish that… enjoy the mistakes you have done to the fullest cause disappointment, defeat, and despair are just tools that God uses to show us the way towards happiness. I follow my heart.. do you? 😉

And here I am concluding this post by these beautiful lines from a song  😀

“So, impossible as it may seem
You’ve got to fight for every dream
‘Cause who’s to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete”

Heylo all!

My first blog… and I seriously Have no clue what am I gonna do here! I am not a writer… my writing skills are worst and I do hell lot of spell errors and grammatical mistakes. But I do believe that the basic purpose of any language is to communicate our ideas, views and thoughts and therefore, with this same thought.. I have started this journey. Flowing river, as the name explains, is about us… we all are flowing in this life like a river… and whatever comes our way we keep on flowing… we might change our path but we keep on flowing… and with the flow we learn and evolve. Do not wanna be philosophical here  :))))

Flowing River is just going to be a compilation of my own thought and views… kind of a personal diary. And as am being declared officially mad by almost everyone… I do wanna share my maddening thoughts with the world around. So, just like a river flow into the ocean of life! 😉 😛

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